Out of all the emotions humans share, there is one that we have all experienced. GUARANTEED!
That emotion: FEAR
Fear is the enemy of all things productive. Fear defeats you before you begin. Fear is the thief from within.
I guess I’m rambling about this because I faced fear today….and lost
I walked into the grocery store with the intent to get all the stuff my wife needed to make dinner tonight, AND talk to at least 5 people about fitness/training because as a fitness professional, the number one thing we have to be able to do is talk to people. BUT the second that Stop&Shop air hit me I froze. I literally almost couldn’t bring myself to speak to one person. ONE! In spite of it all though, I did get to one, more on that later…
I never paid more attention to a shopping list than I did today. It felt like every person I walked pass and made eye contact with, looked at me like..”Nope, Sorry, Not Interested!!” The best part of it all is that I didn’t even have the intention of selling anyone on anything. I didn’t want anything from anybody except maybe 47.3 seconds. That’s it! In my head, as I was driving to the store, the script I thought of went something like this..”Hi, my name is Daniel, how are you? … I’m well, I just wanted to ask you a few quick questions … Do you workout? … How often do you train? … Do you enjoy exercise? … Well here’s my card, please feel free to call or text me if you ever have any questions. … Yes, I’m a trainer. :-)” Simple right? … WRONG!
The whole point was just to practice talking to another human being. Now mind you, I’ve been training for a few years now, plus I have good people skills. AND!… and..I’m a comedian!! I’ve gotten up in front of 500 strangers, people I DID NOT know, and told jokes, and got laughs and had fun! But walking around the super market? buying broccoli and apple juice?? That’s a problem??!!
Sooooo, In my shame and discuss as I was leaving the store it hit me! Why I was scared. It was because I projected what I was feeling on to these unknowing victims, and that wasn’t fair. They didn’t deserve that, being unfairly projected upon. I didn’t see their walls of defense, I saw my own!
So, whats next? How do we get over the wall? How do we get over the fear?
Answer: Reach out.
I thought of these strategies, after the fact…
SMILE: Smiling automatically drops all defenses and lets the other person know that on some level, you accept them and people love being accepted. This is the first step to talking to anyone. and it’s easy because you smile, genuinely, and if they smile back, BOOM! you’re in. If not, then they’re probably not the type of person you want to associate with anyway!
STOP BEING SCARED!!!: Fear is such a … sissy emotion. Yes its ok to be afraid of something you don’t know yet like the dark…when you’re 3 years old… and you just got to this planet. But somewhere, common sense should begin to kick in as you get older and you should realize that the man standing in the corner is just your coat on the chair with a couple socks and a PS3 controller! Fear is NOT REAL. There is nothing to fear. We create fear within our self, with our thoughts, our emotions, our feelings toward a situation. Although public speaking is like the #1 fear among people, whats the worst that can happen? They say “no?” “Not interested?” “Sorry I’m in a rush?”
OK! Now what? Are you hurt? Did they harm you? No? Ok, thought so!
That’s really all I see to it. It’s a very simplistic approach and there are probably more factors to consider, but when it comes to talking to people they aren’t gonna bite your face off so take a shot! Go for it! Yea rejection happens but its apart of life, and plus, if you’re not trying to get anything from them, then it doesn’t matter what they do. No expectations, No disappointments.
So tell me, Whats something that you’re afraid of? It doesn’t have to be a major fear, just something you haven’t overcame yet. Leave them in the comments below 🙂
Oh yea, that one person I ended up taking to…Turns out she was a trainer too!!! Freaky right? I know!